Infertelligence

Loving life while coping with infertility

New Year – Happy! December 31, 2008

Filed under: coping, hope, infertility, support — summeramorris @ 4:55 pm
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With the end of the year coming, I often reflect on the typical end of the year thoughts most of us do such as, “what did I accomplish this year?  what were the positive things that happened?  what didn’t go well?” and so on and so on…  I have mentioned this before, but I really like to think the opposite direction.  I think we all too often focus on what didn’t work or what didn’t go our way but to me, optimism is where we should dig in and live.  Therefore, I like to think, “what do you want to accomplish next year? who are the people you can know better or support more?”  I love those questions!  They help me stay present focused and optimistic rather than past focused and pessimistic.

Please try this year to not think what didn’t… but rather what did and what you can do for the future!  I wish you all the wishes and desires of your hearts and pray you find ways to have them. 

*Live the New Year – Happily!  Happy New Year!

 

Self-Reflection – Why and How? December 17, 2008

Filed under: attitude, education, faith, perception — summeramorris @ 7:44 pm
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 It seems that the holidays often make poeple take a closer look at who they really are and what they are all about.  People turn outward instead of inward during this time.  I absolutely love that about the holidays, especially Christmas.

I have been talking a lot of people lately about attitudes, perceptions and expectations.  These 3 go hand in hand with thinking outward or thinking inward.  I believe the power of changing anything involves these 3 powerful words.  When  relfecting upon change, help yourself get to know you better by asking yourself what is your attitude? your perception? and your expectation?

One of the greatest examples to me of attitude, perception an expectation is a man by the name of Victor Frankl.  He was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist as well as a Holocaust survivor.  I treasure his book, “Man’s Search for Meaning” and look up to this wonderful man and his ability to change his attitude, not his circumstance.  Here is a quote by him (one of my favorites) that helps me reflect and the why’s and how’s of my life.  I hope it will do the same for you.  “A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the “why” for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any “how.”

 

What are you expecting? December 8, 2008

Filed under: coping, faith, hope, infertility, support — summeramorris @ 6:03 pm
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Well, this has been on my mind a lot lately and after talking to a dear friend of mine earlier this morning I thought I would write about it. 

There are 3 things that I believe can help us through any tough situation that we might be in.  Here they are: optimism, faith and patience.  We are not on our own time line – sometimes we can’t plan everything (in fact, most of the time).  Why is it then that we expect so much of ourselves and of our tough situations?

I believe that much of the time, we spend comparing ourselves to others and what they are doing in their lives.  I mean, how many of you spend your time looking at others blogs or websites and wishing you had their life or had the same talents they did or the same family or friends that they have?  Often, I hear from those struggling with infertility (and any other tough situation) that they don’t have the life they expected to have.  This expectation creates for them an ideal life that doesn’t currently exist!

If you compare to someone else’s life – you will always fall short of your expection.  Why?  It isn’t because you are worse person or lack abilities.  It is because you aren’t that other person.  Don’t expect to have someone else’s life – you never will! 

Love your life!  Be optimistic about it, have faith that things will improve and then be patient with yourself and what you are expecting.

 

Gratitude and Thanksgiving December 1, 2008

Filed under: coping, infertility, support — summeramorris @ 4:21 pm
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After this holiday I often find myself reflecting on the things that I am most grateful for and although I am not grateful that I haven’t been able to have children yet, I am so very grateful for a great spouse and loving family and friends that are always willing to support me and be there for me. I am grateful for the doctors that have helped me find answers and have been willing to work with me.  I am grateful that I am healthy and live in a day where scientific miracles happen daily.

It might be difficult to be grateful for having this experience of infertility, but I really wanted to send a message of hope and gratitude in this thought today.  You don’t have to be grateful for all that comes along with this but I give you the challenge to pick one thing each day that you are grateful for surrounding this “adventure of infertility” we are in and write it down.

There is hope in gratitude. I have watched it “cure” depression and anxiety and couples on the verge of divorce.  It is extremely powerful!  Use this tool this week – I would love to hear what you come up with..